Logical Thinking
Two rednecks decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who recommended him to take history or logical thinking class.
“What’s logical thinking?” the first redneck asked. Continue reading…
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Black Eyes
A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”
The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”
“Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”
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So Smelly
So Smelly
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Funny Jokes
Run Forest, Run!
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American Newspaper
A man is out walking in New York city when he sees a little girl being chased by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by hitting the dog’s head with a stick and saves the girl’s life.
The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you so much for saving my little girl. You are a true hero. Tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about ‘Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl’” Continue reading…
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Ugliest Woman
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.
He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says: “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!”
The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal.”
The trucker replies: “Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick.”
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DMV
A man is at DMV.
[DMV Worker] Name, please?
[Man] Abdul Khan.
[DMV Worker] S*x?
[Man] Yes. Three to five times a week.
[DMV Worker] No, no… I mean, male or female?
[Man] Both male and female. And, sometimes with camel.
[DMV Worker] Holy cow!
[Man] Yes, I did one time with a cow, too.
[DMV Worker] But isn ´ t that hostile?
[Man] Horse style, doggy style, any style!
[DMV Worker] Oh dear!
[Man] No, no! ….. No Deer…….. Deer run too fast! 
)
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Family
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodka.”
The barman says, “Wow! you must have had very bad day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said, “What the hell? Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”
“Yes, my wife…”
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Bar Joke
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodka.”
The barman says, “Wow! you must have had very bad day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.
The bartender said, “What the hell? Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”
“Yes, my wife…”
1 Comment
Kidnapping
A blonde is out of money and (after buying air at a real bargain) needed money desperately. To get some cash, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom just like in Hollywood movies.
She went to a playground, grabbed a kid randomly, and told the kid, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a big note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a bag and leave it under the mango tree next to the playground. Signed, A naughty blonde.” Continue reading…
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