A Little Girl’s Trick
One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, “Mommy, I got five dollars!”
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.
The little girl replied, ”Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter,
“Don’t you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties?”
”OOOOhhhh” said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, “Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, “Where did you get the ten dollars from?”
The little girl replied, “Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed.”
The mother replied, “Didn’t I tell you that he is…”
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ”Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn’t wear any panties today.”
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A Little Girl’s Trick
One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, “Mommy, I got five dollars!”
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.
The little girl replied, ”Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter,
“Don’t you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties?”
”OOOOhhhh” said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, “Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, “Where did you get the ten dollars from?”
The little girl replied, “Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed.”
The mother replied, “Didn’t I tell you that he is…”
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ”Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn’t wear any panties today.”
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Prayers
John is an 8 years old kid and one day ,while he was playing in his yard , he suddenly heard a very strange voice coming from his neighbor’ house.
He was so curious and he wanted to know where it came from. Therefore, he peaked into his neighbor’s house through window.
He saw that Ms. Jennifer, a widow, was lying naked on her bed and rubbing her body and moaning;”Oh God, I need a man, I need a man “.
The 8 years old John was too young to understand what she was doing and what was happening to her. So, he was just confused about that.
Next day, when he came back from school, he peaked again into his neighbor and he saw that Ms. Jennifer was sleeping with a man in the bed.
He was surprised and then, he became realized one thing. Therefore, he ran into his house, locked the door, took off his clothes, laid on the bed, rubbed his body and said;
“Oh God, I need a bike, I need a bike.”
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The Hypnotist
One day in the town hall. The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist could attract more people.
The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased. A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town’s people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting, “Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch…”
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until accidentally the hypnotist’s fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor. “Sh*t!” the
Hypnotist yelled.
It took three weeks to clean up the town hall.
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Annoying Boy on Bus
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ”If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I’d be a little bull.”
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ”If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.”
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ”What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!”
The kid smiles and says, ”I would be a bus driver!”
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Eating Grass
One afternoon, a rich man was riding in the back of his limousine when he noticed a man was eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked the man.
“I don’t have any money for food so I am eating grass,” the poor man replied.
“Oh, come along with me then,” said the rich man.
“But sir, I have a wife with two children!”
“Bring them as well,” said the rich man.
So, the poor man got into his car and expressed his gratitude, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking us with you.”
The rich man replied, “No problem, my friend. The grass at my place is about three feet tall and I could use your help!”
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The Rabbit And The Bear
Once there was a rabbit and a bear living in a forest. They went out for a walk and saw a magic golden frog. The rabbit and bear said, “Goodie, three wishes!” The frog then said, “No, six wishes since there are two of you.” They got even more excited.
The bear went first. “I wish that all the bears in this forest are females, except for me.” POOF! His wish was granted.
Then it was the rabbit’s turn. “I wish for a racing bike helmet.” POOF! His wish was granted.
The bear hesitated, then said, “I wish all the bears in the neighboring forests were females, except for me.” POOF! His wish was granted.
The rabbit already knew what he wanted, “I wish for a motorcycle!” POOF! His wish was granted.
The frog broke in and said, “Now hurry up, I must be on my way! And, may I add, choose carefully your last wish!!”
The bear said, “Alright, I know my last wish. I wish all the bears in the world were female, except for me.” POOF! His wish was granted.
The rabbit thought for a while, put on his helmet, and got on his motorcycle. With a smirk on his face he said, “I wish the bear were gay.”
5 Comments
Deer Meal
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won’t eat it if they know what it is – so he does not tell them.
His little girl keeps asking him, “What’s for supper?”
“You’ll see”, says his dad.
They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking what they’re eating.
“Ok,” says her dad, “here’s a hint, it is what your mother sometimes calls me.”
Then, the little girl is thinking for a few seconds and then she starts screaming “We’re eating a**hole!!”
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The Mental Patients
Tom and Johnny were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, Johnny suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. Tom jumped in and saved
Johnny and the medical director came to know of his heroic act.
Then doctor said to Tom:
“We have good news and bad news for you, Tom. The good news is we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient. The bad news is,the patient, Johnny whom you had saved hung himself in the toilet.”
Tom said:
” He didn’t hang himself. He was wet after drowning so I hung him there to dry. “
2 Comments
Troubleshooting
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a windows engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the windows engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, “Why don’t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it’ll work!?”
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